My Grief Challenges

Events From July 2013


Regarding July.
On July 3rd I was able to be at the beach-for me the best place.   I had also made plans to visit my parents, in Moscow and then on to Melissa and the grandchildren.
Tuesdays—Fridays are still my most disliked days.
My time with Melissa started off with me helping her to move. I know she was exhausted, but we did it ourselves, in a few hours. Plus, we did some sorting. I think she was at a point of wanting to send me home.
It was a Tuesday afternoon, Melissa and I were heading back to her house. She had commented on a sign she had seen, several times, about long hair chihuahuas. I do not know what came over me. I suggested we turn around and go look at them. Melissa was hesitant, and this was out of character for me.  I will leave it there. I am hoping to have Melissa write that part. The whole event is interesting.
Wednesday: With help from Melissa and Rahul-the waterpark was great.  At first, each of the four children was afraid to venture near the water. Slowly, the three older ones were willing to go down the slides with someone at their side. Eventually, just knowing someone was at the bottom of the slide. As time went on, the big slides were the favorite. Little K was able to slide down the kid slides without someone to catch him. Through the day, little E, let Gram K hold her while her feet dangled in the water. She even enjoyed the upper waterfall splashing on her head. She slept deeply in the cool shade area I found-where tiny droplets of water were refreshing to the both of us.
Now to the part I was only planning on writing about.
It was Thursday, and I was going to help Jessica get her storage space organized. I think I might have shocked her. I kept finding room in the vans for more things. We were to the point where, even I could not fit anything else in. We were moving items around so Jessica knew what was left, in the space. Low and behold, we came upon the yard ornament my Mom and sister had made Shawn, the previous summer. She thought it had been destroyed beyond repair from the fire. You see, Shawn loved the ornament and would not let  it be outside. It had separated, only, at one area-which could be glued. A lot of soot, otherwise, somehow, not broken.2013-08-04 15.52.39
We were almost finished.
In the midst of moving things, Jessica found her hope chest. It was scorched so badly, on the outside that she hadn’t had the courage to open it, fearing the contents to have been totally ruined, from the fire. I encouraged her, and offered to look for her if that would help. She pulled out a blanky.2013-08-28 16.54.21 I was thrilled to see Melissa’s blanket. As I examined it. The date was—it was handmade, for Shawn, by my Grandma Million. I could not stop the tears from flowing. Then Jessica  pulled out a bag. In it was Shawn’s first pjs and then she pulled out these little blue overalls and flannel shirt.

These are Shawn's first clothes.

These are Shawn’s first clothes.

I had made them for Shawn to come home in, from the hospital, after being born-I had not had any testing done when I was pregnant with him, so I do not know how I knew what to sew. Jessica said she didn’t notice much smoke smell-most of all—not any burn marks. In fact, all the contents of that hope chest were not burned and very little smoke smell. She said had she  known there was anything left that Shawn had worn, she would have been carrying them with her.
Here is the strange part. From the first day Shawn was in the hospital, I had been asking for anything of Shawn’s that I could have, just something. I am sure folks were getting tired of my repeated requests. I had been told there was nothing. So much had been destroyed in the  fire. Can you believe that I was able to get the blanket from Gram M, and the clothes I had made for Shawn’s birth day ?
I hope to get the photos posted, in the next couple of days.

I wonder what special happenings others have had ?

Bye for now, K


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