Folks, I have a variety of ways I want to develop this sight~how I write about an issue, the variety of ideas I would like to pass on and my hope is to gather many helpful resources. For today, I am going to post in a way that has given me a new way of dealing with my situation and maybe there is someone, out there, who would be helped, as well. I will make sure at the beginning of each different approach, to let the readers know how I am presenting that read.
I can’t avoid that I am in deep sorrow. There have been many times a trigger stirred me so, and I found myself thinking, what would Shawn tell me or if Shawn were in my shoes, what would I tell him.
For today, I am going to share as if Shawn needed my help. I will not use quotes-they might be mistaken for words truly spoken.
Mom, this is sooo hard, I don’t think I can endure. The ache from the void, actually hurts. How can good come from this ? My tears won’t bring anyone back-what good are they, really ? I just need you to hold me, like when I was a baby. I loved your tight hugs and the comfort of your shoulder and the beat of your heart, the calmness I could hear, as you took each breath, even though you tried to quiet your wheezing. Can’t I just go back to that and by-pass this valley ?
Oh, My dear Shawner, God had you survive a very tough birth process. God gave you breath, I need no other proof that He had a plan for you from before your days were formed. There are so many questions running through your mind, right now. The pain seems unbearable, and dare I say, useless ? God’s plan for you is in His hands. It is best if I do not try to answer for Him. Remember before Jesus was to die on the cross for our sins ?
Mom, how does that apply to what I am going through ?
Well, Shawner, that night when Jesus went to pray, He was alone, the sorrow was mighty, inside Him. Plus, He knew He could not let the cup pass. I am sure you have many of your own moments of deep sorrow and aloneness. I have heard it said, the only way to deal with the grief, is to face it head on.
But, Mom, I don’t think I can.
My Precious child, I will be praying for God to give you peace, comfort and an enormous amount of courage. For years and years, I have used the phrase “Hang In There”. Anyone who knows me, knows I do not say them lightly. I will keep saying those words until your crushing mountain of grief turns into a small dirt clod. Hey Shawn, you know how I love the ocean. Imagine being at the beach with me. We are standing near the waters edge. We know the next wave is coming. Grab my hand, and we will brace for the hit, together. We will stay there until you are ready to move forward to the next task.
Mom, I am thankful God made you my mom. He made you know exactly what soothes me, and how to calm my spirit, in-spite of great pain How blessed I have been.
Shanwer, while we wait for the next wave, one of my friends shared with me a poem they found. Sorry they didn’t know the author’s name. Maybe you can find a nugget of hope in it.
“My life is but a weaving Between the Lord and me I do not choose the colors He worketh steadily.
Oftimes he weaveth sorrow And I in foolish pride Forget He sees the upper And I the underside.
The dark threads are as needful In the Weaver’s skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned.
Not till the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly Will God unroll the canvas And explain the reason why.”
Okay Shawn, are you ready ??? The wave is approaching !!!