My Grief Challenges

HOW ARE YOU !!! October 21, 2013

Hello folks,

This will be brief- for realz.

A few weeks ago, I had written about wordless signs of care. I just need to add a note to further explain.        20715c52caffdfac3d5fff7adda70e86

You see, I had been to my doctor, where he had asked how I was. I told him my frustration with that question. He asked me, repeatedly, how I was doing, until I answered.  Mind you, he had been placing acupuncture needles.   I learned that day,  it is okay to let folks ask that question-some actually care-let them care. I guess I had been in overload. At work it is not uncommon to have 50 people ask that question.

I ask that question- in different ways. I have a friend with lung cancer. I purposely ask him how he is. I know before I hear his words how he is.  I have a friend with cancer running through her whole body. I ask her if it is a thumbs up day or not.  I have another friend with cancer. I ask her how she is-sometimes I forget which week we are at and when her last treatment was. Her response is  ” I’m on the upswing, or down swing.”   These people know I care deeply for them.  Each one has a different way of dealing with their situation. The common is they have always told me how thankful they are for the many who do care.

So, let folks care how best works for them.

I just realized what set all this in motion. The last Wednesday,  before Shawn died, I was in a meeting with Dr. G. to decide about continuing Shawn’s care. Her first question to me was, “So, how are you doing today ?”   It is my prayer to have thankfulness for the care she did give Shawn, and not hold her lack of tact against her.  Are any of us perfect with our words or actions?

I hope this cleared up some misunderstandings. Yes, feel free to ask how I am, just know I am going to be honest-it is still so moment by moment.

I do apologize for writing so soon. Hope you don’t mind.

Bye for now, K


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