My Grief Challenges

Missin’ Zucchini Days December 24, 2013

You might find yourself asking-What in the world is “Missing Zucchini Days” about ?
As it turns out, on December 3, 2013, Bob (my husband) and I, were comparing childhood memories. Bob was raised in urban Oregon, I was raised in rural Idaho. Bob told me he was spoiled. No real chore demands and quite a lot of time free time to do as he chose. He was recollecting about a family, across the street, and being able to frequent their pool, in the summer, with no real responsibilities.
For my childhood, I was the oldest of 7 children. We all had tasks to do, on a daily basis, which rotated each week. Our summers were filled with many days of weeding a gigantuous garden. We had plenty of extra produce, so we would load up the wheel-borrow, and head down to the corner and sell our delicacies. What strikes me now, all the people we sold to, were folks who had their own gardens. I remember how thrilled we would get selling all our produce. How I wish I could thank all our precious neighbors for helping support us 7 millions and our retail days.  If chores were complete, a treat for us, older 5, was to walk 5 miles in to town, to the pool for a fun afternoon of swimming. The walk home was enjoyable-we were exhausted, but many times we could hitch a ride home with Dad, if we timed things right.
Maybe pulling weeds and other chores, while growing up, seemed burdensome, but nothing compared to getting acquainted with Shawn’s goneness, a chore I would rather not have to do.  So, yes, I am “Missin’ Zucchini Days”.
A side note: zucchini dipped in egg and flour, then fried. Oh so good !!! Hot zucchini bread with chocolate chips, smoothered with butter-deeelicious !!! There is, also, a dish Mom made with zucchini, eggs and cheese-nummy nummy !!!

This has been a tough week-Bob was listening to a news show, on Fox, it was talking about a little girl having gone in for a tonsillectomy, and is now, brain dead. The fight the parents are having to go through to not have the machines shut off…My heart aches for those parents. My own guilt was reignited, regarding giving the decision to the doctors, regarding Shawn’s last days—did I fight hard enough for Shawn to have a chance at living ??? Will my heart ever have peace, again ???  Do folks really know what it is like to have to decide continuing another’s life-especially their own precious child ??? Am I not trusting God’s working through Shawn’s death ???
I know many parents have not had the privilege to be with their dying child. I was, of course, there for Shawn’s beginning, as well as, his end.    Yes, I’m “Missin’ Zucchini Days !!!
That is all for this week. I am going to be sharing a cute video of Bob and our cute doggererdogs.



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