My Grief Challenges

Warts Are Awful !!! August 16, 2014

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On Monday, I had my yearly visit with my hygienist.  We were sharing bits and pieces of our stories. Mid-way through she told me that her and her mother decided that when we go through trying events in our lives, we can think of them as a piece in a stained glass window.  I thought that was a great idea.   Sometimes, the pieces shatter, yet remain intact.  Then there are times the broken pieces can be fit together to create a new fantabulous design.    My spin, the broken shards have been painted with a blue stain.   I asked if she would mind me using the idea in my next post.              For me ! this is a better illustration of our lives then the tapestry idea.   Usually,  the back of the tapestry has knots, maybe hanging threads. and the image is hard to depict.   The stained glass idea: it can be viewed from both sides.    I am one of those people who likes the backside of projects to look nice,as well.   That is why I make  my ornaments  to be viewed from either side.               Suddenly, our conversation  took me back  to my memories of a grade school happening.   My memory clock became stuck on this painful time, wondering how it fit.                            You see, all of my life, I have had a lot of health issues.  This particular time was between grades 4 and 6.  With no success, doctors had tried various ideas to remove a couple of painful, ugly growths.    I remember a last resort my folks had been told about, which meant a trip to Spokane, Washington.     I remember Dr. Clock explaining, in great detail, what to expect.   My face was readied.   Then I saw it.  This huge machine—to me at that time it seemed huge. It had hoses and some kind of pointy thing.      Somehow, Dr. Clock was going to aim the pointy thing at the area on my face,  where the nostril meets the face-both sides-the outer edges~~~to freeze the warts. The process was/is Cryotherapy for Warts.      You see, a person with many allergies, warts on the  nostrils ~~~ blowing a lot,  was very painful and bloody.    AND yes, they were ugly hanging things !!!   I am sure I must have been shaking, but the procedure went off with no hitches.  I was to wait for the results, not pick at the sore places.   I had had those nose guests for some time, so I figured I could handle a few days of waiting.                                                  Time pasted. My nose warts, looked healthier.   I was sad, but my lung issues kept me occupied.         Then a situation at school made my wart situation, unbearable.         I remember having on this neat BLUE outfit.   On this particular day,  the teacher had half the class put our chairs into 2 rows.  All I remember is that it was my turn to get up and follow the instructions the teacher gave.    I had done a good job, but I could not figure out why several of my classmates were chuckling at me. I sat down. The ruckus had gotten so loud-the teacher became upset.  It was demanded that we put our chairs in their proper places-and sit, not recess.    When I stood up, I felt something on my backside ???   I was able to pick off the tape, I looked at it for a little while. I was flabbergasted, trying to figure out what the ugly slimy stuff was and how it came to be on my back side.   A friend had to tell me that one of my classmates had picked his nose, put it on a piece of tape and placed it on my chair for me to sit on.   Thus, the laughter.                              I could not handle the nose warts any longer. Nothing the doctors had tried, worked-not even the freezing machine.   I made it through the day. The bus ride waaaaaaaas soooooooo long.   I went to my room, and let the tears flow.   What was I going to do ?  For some reason,  I pinched one of the warts between my index finger and thumb and yanked.   Somehow, I mustered up the oomph to pinch the 2nd wart.   There was an awful mess.  I think I had to explain the bandage on my nostrils.  THOSE pesky warts have not shown themselves in at least 43 years !!!   Just another broken piece that makes for the  shattered pieces design of my life.  Each place is filled.  Some shapes are smooth,  most are quite jagged, all somehow fitting together.             Stained Glass Broken Door                                                                                   I am reading, “Shattered Dreams”, by Larry Crabb.  This week-on Wednesday- on page 84, I was only able to read this paragraph:    ” She paused a moment, looked away, then added, “But when I do, when I cry out, ‘God, I need You; where are You ? I don’t always find Him, In fact, I never do, not the way I thought I would.””                   Each  time a procedure  didn’t get rid of my nose warts I had the same  gut feeling  mentioned in this paragraph (at least how I felt when I read it)   hopelessly hoping for an answer or solution ?  Was there an answer and would relief come ?                     So, now as I look at that stained glass window-the piece that represents my nose warts days- fits perfectly,  in it’s place.      Sometimes, events in my life, have left me wondering if God has heard my cries, my aches. Will He  answer, or give a solution ?  Do I have the energy to muster another plea ?    Right now the ache from Shawn’s goneness is emence.                   60519cc00536d26021baf918e8b4bf4a        This picture is a good representation of me.

Dejunking 😦

Well, I need to buckle down and plan my schedule. I thought I could accomplish a lot, but no.  My friend told me-just break my list down-even if I have only 15 minutes for a task.   I will do as she said.

Exercisings !!!

I have been doing a very good job keeping to my exercise schedule.   August 11-16-YES !!!           3 things to share:

My feet have been hurting.  So, I found some really cushy shoe cushions. After I put them in my shoes,  I was amazed at the difference.

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To add to my challenge and hope to tone my arms, I have been using these cute weights. 2.5 pounds each.

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40d367b456e8b52c21b8eb9d38f188de  At my doctor visit, I was bragging about my lungs…it was recommended that I add back into my routine-my inversion table. It is a good way to get the stale air out.

 

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