My Grief Challenges, Precious Items

Plumb Tuckered Out March 14, 2015

 I do not cut myself very much slack. BUT, for some reason, last weekend, I did.  I didn’t publish a post and I am late getting this one out.   It may have been the combo of lung, sinus, and eye infections that just had me plumb tuckered out.                                                   It just  gets my goat that when other people do a certain sneeze, I end up getting a bad cold,  from their sneeze.   I knew when  Anthony sneezed, about 8 times in a row, on a Monday morning bus ride. what was going to be coming my way.             About 6 hours later, WHAM !!!,  my sinuses were already doing the infected thing. Honestly, for me I cannot remember a time, when having a cold that a sinus and lung infection didn’t happen.    I had used quite a few of my favorite tissues. They are soothing and 3 ply strong, yet, I still needed to double them. I will leave it at that.   KleenexThey are the best !!!    Because of all my sinus infections and blowing my nose, A LOT !!!, I have a secret to share.  A person would never guess how much I blow my nose (?), well, okay,  you know when you get a cold and blow your nose a lot ?, it gets red and sore and just looks awful ?  I do not have a problem with that. My tissues help, which are a recent find, but my secret weapon is:         Blistex     If you are worried about cross contamination or are just plain grossed out or whatever,  just have a designated one  for the nose.   I have used this on my nose for many, many, many years. It has served me well. I hope, neither of these products gets canceled.  I would be so sad.                                                                                                                                As for Anthony~~~he never came down with a cold or any sign of sickness.         I was sure I was recovering, quickly, for me, and quite tickled about it.     It was Wednesday evening, I was getting ready to go up to bed.      Suddenly,  Bob sneezed 8 HUGE sneezes. I counted. I knew what was going to happen.     I did get frustrated.                  Whenever Bob has done those full force everything out sneezes, I get sick.  Even if he is 15 feet away.        You may be wondering how Bob has been ?    Totally fine !!!         I guess I wouldn’t mind getting peoples colds, but I never have a plain cold. In fact, I have no idea what a plain cold is.                                                        One of my co-workers was telling me, in great detail, about how awful her sinus infection was, and that it was her first, she is my age.  Her doctor had told her how bad off she was.   I said nothing about my infections.                                                            Then, one Sunday, one of the Dad’s at church was telling me how he wanted to get his boys used to using a handkerchief. The females in his family said that was disgusting and not sanitary.  He just didn’t want them using so many tissues. All I told him was, with my sinus infections, I would need a minimum of 3 handkerchiefs, per use.  He seemed rather perplexed.   I did not want to gross him out, so I did a COS (Change Of Subject).                                                                                             When I have a sinus infection with inflammation, the back part of the roof of my mouth hurts so bad to: swallow, talk or cry. Breathing is a whole nother issue.     Yep, I am venting.     The night of Bob’s sneezes, I did not sleep well, and when I did try,  the reality slams hit full force.      Moments of vivid visual recalls of when Shawn was in the hospital ~~~ when I was present for the needle test to see what reactions his muscles had, ~~~ cleaning up a lot of blood under and on the bed ~~~ being present during cardiac episodes, one after the other, they just would not stop.    All this has left me quite exhausted.         My husband has been blessed with the ability of loving sleep. He is constantly telling me I need to stop and sleep.         Okay, in my whole life I have never been able to sleep well, let a lone enjoy it, especially if I am wheezing or having a hard time breathing, coughing or experiencing vivid visual recalls of Shawn’s situation.   Sleep does not come easy for me and is, often, not restorative.                                                                     Oh yes, another getter. Until folks go through something they tend to treat those who are, with a flippant attitude.     My friend, healing from lung cancer admitted, how lightly he took my breathing problems, all those years we worked together, until he had his own breathing issues. He now  feels bad and wishes he could take back all he had ever felt about my illnesses. His eyes have certainly been opened.  Our friendship has been a back and forth of encouragement— empathy and care towards each other.      I pray I do not become hateful because folks do not understand the many issues I am facing.   It is very much a lonely road.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            In my quest to learn who I am, I will be sharing, in the next few posts, bits about me and some of my creations. I will then share what I learned from a personality test. Maybe folks will start looking for the positive they have to offer to those they encounter.                                      

                      In the mid-late  ’90s, I was going to fill sad moments by doing parties.   My plans included duck puppets and my duck voice. One has to be careful regarding copyright issues when portraying (?) Disney stuff.  My duck voice was mine and I wanted characters to make the moments more real or fun or just plain cute. I had ideas in my head of how I wanted my ducks to look.  I am such a bad drawer that it took 3 patterns with a lot of adjusting and enlarging to get the ideas from my head onto a  type of paper for making patterns.   For the Original Dawnee I chose the colors of yarn and used my Knitking Brother knitting machine to make the body parts. I sewed sections together to stuff and add heavy wire. For her eyes I used clay and found a shape I liked.  She was so cute.

   2015-03-01 17.08.44 Yep, that is Dawnee # 1, being held by Dawnee # 2.                                                                                             Bob let my buddies pose in his bus    2015-03-01 17.07.03 Mr. D to the left. Dawnee to the right.  2015-03-01 17.04.03 

     My asthma made it too difficult  to try and make use of these characters.   I, even have  a system: microphone and speakers, all portable.  Who knows maybe someday my grands would like to meet my precious characters.                    

Years ago I took Mr. D and Dawnee to Westmoreland Park for poses and outfit reveals.  

  2015-03-01 17.06.242015-03-01 17.04.39    Between you and me, Mr. D is such a ham !!! 


2015-03-01 17.05.412015-03-01 17.05.13  Dawnee, too cute for words.                                                                                  2015-03-01 17.11.37 Mr. D, singing a song to a young lad.     Yes, I make some sort of covering for my face, so the ducks are watched, not my mouth.                I miss that old Kathy.

AND,  while at Sears I not only did replenishment, inventory, organizing, food demos promoting the George Foreman grill,  George Foreman Grill    I had been allowed to pose my buddies on top of one my curtain display areas, during the Civil War Games.  2015-03-01 17.07.45    

Please, folks, none of this is meant to come across as braggadocios-it is just a part of who I am. I hope, that you enjoy some of my creations.







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