My Grief Challenges

Just Remembering Shawn May 3, 2015

20140503_200959 (1)        Rockaway May 3, 2014.

wpid-20150501_185515.jpg   For my “Just Remembering Shawn” time at Rockaway, I have a different saying each day. May 1, 2015, the sunshine was amazing, the wind was so strong I kept tipping over while placing the letters. This was the best shot I could get. In a way, my being jostled by the wind, pretty much describes this past year.  purex-laundry-detergent-mountain-breeze-scentThanks for this blue bottle, I didn’t have to paint the letters. !!!

   I have a lot of beach decorating remembrance ideas floating around, in my head. Hopefully, folks will see that these ideas can be used in a variety of situations, can be done easily, anywhere. Oh and ummm, I am a 3G shopper: I Go. Grab. & Get out as fast as I can. In other words, I do not like any part of the shopping experience.   Therefore, I am the worst bargain hunter.   That being said, I am sure you bargaineers, can do these ideas fairly inexpensively.  

 20150425_072537 It might be hard  to guess what I might make from this mess of craft items, I purchased from Jo-Ann’s.  At the typing of this paragraph, I am hoping that my idea turns out. The reveal will be at the end of this post.

I read my ramblings  from May 3, 2014. Here is a some of what I wrote:    “Shawn, I miss you more than I care to know. I cannot see how life can have an upside. My mind will not stop the accusations of all the wrongs I did to you, or how I failed you, how I fell short, how I didn’t reach out more. So many things. I am told as time goes by I will be able to remember the happier times of your living days. I hope that all those times I begged your forgiveness, that you truly did. I hope I did not make your last days worse because I could not let go. I have it recorded the day you stood 3 times. You were valiant in your efforts to conquer the sufferings your body had endured. Someday, I hope to watch that recording with joy not sorrow.”

 And now, Shawn, I am glad I didn’t know then what I know now, about your last days, cuz I know I could not have faced them then. I so dread every moment knowing I have to face your goneness. Truth be told, I HATE THIS !!!         I see myself as that lost little lamb: Lost Little Lamb   Not in regards to salvation, lost in life’s mire. Broken Heart

Someone asked me why I do beach messages for Shawn.  Deep within, I know that Shawn would think they are a cool idea. He would.      In a way, there is kind of a releasing that happens, with each one.

wpid-20150502_102630.jpg This is my redo, for May 1. The wind wasn’t a bother, yet.   Here is the official design for May 2.wpid-20150502_203337.jpg   

Today, May 3.   wpid-20150503_082226.jpg   When I got back into the room after setting up the design for Shawn’s 2nd year gone, this song was playing: Broken Hallelujah: https://youtu.be/Fo3DudOzV4k    

                                                Shawn, I miss you so…

 

 

 

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