Yep, for lack of a better phrase, this is where I am today. Just kind~of stuck. I do not understand why grief rules over my desire ? I had written about a neat happening, but, several times my mind kept going to a post I wrote: https://movingmercifullyforward.com/2014/03/15/ride-them-bareback/ . In my sleep, I kept seeing that shape on Shawn’s chest. Then I thought~~~oh no~~~what if folks think I am telling a falsehood about the horse situation. It occurred to me that a lot of times when the word heart is mentioned, a shape like this comes to mind.
The shape I am referring to is more like: . For whatever reason, I can not get the shape out of my head. I do not like remembering the episodes, I watched, when life saving measures were being performed on Shawn. I remember begging God to not take Shawn. I thought Shawn deserved to live. He was young, I was not. God refused my request. I remember the relief when Shawn’s heart started beating, again. I also, remember the gut grind~~~how would I deal with things if God didn’t let Shawn live ?
I will stop here. I should be able to post my positive post, next week. Here are a couple of songs I found to be comforting.
Lauren Daigle – Trust In You https://youtu.be/n_aVFVveJNs Lauren Daigle ~ I Am Yours https://youtu.be/w9B-81mZV5E
Here is a wonderful positive to end with: http://aclj.org/persecuted-church/breaking-american-pastor-saeed-abedini-and-other-americans-have-just-been-freed