Here I go again. I had worked, feverishly, on a post, actually, a couple. I guess these other things were meant to be shared. For whatever reason ? Since there are several, I am going to number them, in hopes of preventing confusion.
So here goes:
# 1: This is the 5th year, of driving the same route~my hope is to continue on this route with Champ~my bus. Many of my passengers will be going to middle school, next year. Just this past week I realized this, and my heart sank. Driving these precious folks for 5 years, and then to say good~bye. Changes. So many changes. All this time and then they will be gone. Will I see them again ? Another kind of letting go~~~not my cup of tea.
# 2: Wonder of wonders. I had written about losing my mood rings, from Shawn’s hospital days. Another Shawn connection, gone, so I thought.
This week started out like most. At church, Bob and I were talking to a friend who was making arrangements to move. I told Bob we could lone out the van. Then our friend said he was doing all this on Friday, Bob’s b.day. Bob was going to have the day off. So, go figure, I volunteered my husband to help. Funny thing, Bob seemed to, quickly, agree to the idea. I was thrilled. All he would need to do is take out the middle seat, of the van and slide forward the back seat, and there is quite a bit of space. I have removed that seat several times, by myself, so I knew Bob would have no problem. This precious van has been used to help in many moves, some were pretty sad times.
I think it was Monday, after work, on my table beside my chair, I saw something ??? I looked at it, in amazement. my mood rings !!! When Bob took the seat out, there they were. After all this time, I had given up ever finding them. I did have plans to deep clean the van, after my summer drive. Oh, and it is just as well that I have not completed my new memorial bracelet, for Shawn. My mood rings will need to be the focus point.
# 3: Living by numbers. Since Shawn died, I have been logging events into my Google calendar. I was wanting to make sure I kept the details, of Shawn’s last days in order. There are times I have not logged something in, then my world is a mess, because I misplaced an event. A few weeks ago, I went to my calendar to add some information. Everything from September 2014 to before Shawn died, was gone. How could this be ? I had labored so hard this past September to get everything logged in. I have tried to figure ways to recapture, but I end up hearing that’s how things go.
Google people, if you are listening, surely there is a way for my calendar not to delete past years. Some of us are living by numbers, and when the calendars delete, it is like: for me, losing Shawn, again. Please find a way to fix this issue. My heart is sad over this happening !!! I have started to worry that the various posts and comments regarding Shawn might get deleted from Facebook. I hope if the Facebook folks are listening, that they will find a way to not let this happen, please !!!
When I was listening to Dennis Apple, being interviewed by Compassionate Friends, he mentioned the importance of using a calendar. I have felt so silly with my calendar fixation, until I heard what Dennis had to say. I am no longer ashamed for living by numbers. I shared the interview link April 3, 2016.
This past week, I listened to Gary Roe’s book: I have to do a re~listen. During chapter 3, too many emotions were escaping. I am sure I missed a lot. Gary, you were spot on explaining the various aspects of grief. Thank you.
# 4: A couple of weeks ago I mentioned finding a healthier mocha replacement for my comfort drink. I have, also, been encouraged to drink a cup of tea, using: ginger, cinnamon and honey. Apparently, these 3 are a good combo for inflammatory situations, helping the blood sugars and general healing. Be ready for a shocker. Today is the 6th day of no mocha. Here is something strange. The day I decided I was going to give up my comfort drink, was the day Bob found my mood rings. I wonder what color they will be if I hold them?
# 5: Well, yesterday was Bob’s; 2/3rds of the way to 90, b.day, as Melissa Kay Apperson declared. My time has been very tight-I leave the house at 4 AM and get home, now, around 6 PM. I didn’t know what to do for Bob’s b.day. What I mean is, I wanted to do something unique. Thursday, one of my passengers was telling me about a cake her Mom had made. The light dawned. This is what Maria Grirent made for Bob. Amazing !!!
Maria Grirent, is on Facebook. There you can see many of her wonderful creations. She makes the cakes to help supplement the family income, to be able to stay at home with 2 very young children.
# 6: A relative shared this: http://m.atchuup.com/advice-on-how-to-deal-with-grief/ I thought it would be a helpful thing to share.
# 7: I will close with this poem my Mom found. It is heavy !!!