Oh Boy !!! I sure hope this does not get me into trouble !!!
“I’m not a frog, in a pot, on slow boil.” Yep, those were my words, several years ago. Us school bus drivers were told we needed to take a class, on what ? you may be asking. For now I will not go into a lot of detail. I will say, when I read the introduction letter about the class, I was flabbergasted. I was sure I had misunderstood. Before class started, we were directed to our assigned group and table, with a facilitator. After introductions, I, immediately asked our facilitator what his task was. He didn’t say. So, I pulled out my letter. I told my facilitator that I was very upset with what I thought was going to be the topic. Again, he just him~hawed. I could not see how he was cut out for the task.
From the beginning of class, the posters around the room, the words being used, I knew I was right. I made sure those people who had no clue about me, had no reason to be calling me a Privileged White Racist (PWR) !!! The more class went on, the more upset I became. AND God and salvation through Jesus’ death, were not to be intermingled.
As it turned out, our boss was at my table. He never gave a clue as to his feelings. I was sure with all my butting of heads, I was going to be fired, before school started. At one point there were, about 4 facilitators at our table, trying to convince me that I was not seeing my PWR problem. Very clearly, they told me I was the worst PWR !!! I butted heads many times with those people. When questioned about my resistance to their teachings, I spoke honestly and as boldly as I could, knowing my intellect was lower than theirs. I told the folks they did not know me-how could they label me a PWR ? I, also, told them I was not going to agree with their false teachings.
I said, many times, to them: “I am not a frog, in a pot, on slow boil !!!” I told them I did not appreciate tax dollars being spent on such Godless teachings. ‘Nuf said. Oh and yes, I was not fired. When I went back to work, a few weeks later, for school start~up, my boss told me how proud he was of me. Who would have thought ? My boss told me, he had been cheering for me, on the inside, at our table. To this day, my gut wrinkles when I think of the awfulness of that class. I have learned PWR stuff has been filtered down so folks will accept the teachings more easily. I was told, much later, that the class was not paid for by tax payers. REALLY ???!!! I wonder if tax payers even try to find out how their dollars are spent by the octopus arms of our government?
Here is a bum thing for me: I have the guts to speak, but God did not give me a lot of intelligence for rightly saying things~~~this is plain fact. I am not questioning God about the character He made me. God made all of us unique. I am still trying to learn how I can contribute, in a positive way, to the world around me. I do care for folks and the hard issues they are dealing with, and I do know, I cannot be their fixer.
You may be wondering why I am saying these things ? Well, because, too many times, we are put in situations where we need to be bold in order to help others through. Sometimes being able to share one’s own weaknesses, can give another courage to move forward. There are some who just cannot share, for whatever reason. That is just fine. Maybe, in time, they will push through their pain and share, giving someone encouragement, who just might need it. Or, maybe their sharing will bring healing to them self ? Who knows ?
All this made me start wondering why I am blogging !?! I have friends who are having troubles sharing what has really been going on in their family. Why doesn’t it bother me to share ? I do hope there might be a slight way I could encourage someone, but at this time, I am pretty much a downer. With all my flaws, I hope something on my site would somehow encourage someone going through a rough time. I have said this before, I do not do this for sympathy. I have, also, said that if anyone wants to know how I REALLY am doing? Moving Mercifully Forward, is the place to go. With a lot of troubling areas, in my life, at least I can be free to talk about one of them-my grief. Who knows, maybe someone will find encouragement ???