Audio is Available, Health Ideas, My Grief Challenges

Off My Rocker ??? July 18, 2016


Shawn's Zoe Dog
Zoe wont leave

Shawn’s Zoe Dog.  When I  visited Shawn, she would, always, jump into my van.  Here, Shawn was trying to coax her out. She did not budge.




I  enjoy my summer visits, even though things do not go as I, sort~of plan. I realized, this time, that every time I start my summer visits, my gut wrinkles. There is an agony that makes me cringe and not want to go. It is not that I do not want to visit family and friends. It is not that I do not like the long hours of driving, by myself. Here, at home…I do not know how to say this, but every time I start my summer drive, I know that when I get to the last part of my journey,  Shawn will not be there. I will drive past places where Shawn would have spent time, but Shawn will not be there. I dread going anywhere that has a Shawn memory. Am I just totally off my rocker ???

I really enjoyed my stay with Dad and Mom. They sure are busy folks. We saw a beautiful fireworks display, for Independence Day, in Lewiston. Which is where we had the small Million Reunion. Such a wonderful time !!!

Yep, my trip was a bust as far as staying on the plan my doctor intended for me. I drank, My Comfort Drink, a lot.  I did not eat as my doctor suggested. I did not exercise as I was suppose to do.

 I did spend many hours trying to sort Shawn photos . The few videos with Shawn, I found myself asking: “Why didn’t so and so scan up and get Shawn’s face and have him talk ? Then, there was one video I had done. Had I moved the camera up an inch, I could have gotten Shawn’s face. I could have gotten him to say something~~~but I didn’t.  

All in all, there were many fun moments, on my trip.

I arrived home Tuesday afternoon. I have been in a very strange funk. I did get laundry completed. I worked in my closet~it is stuffed but tidy.  I have piles of to dos, but no desire to do them.  I have yard work I cannot wait to do, but no will to do it. I have organizing to complete, but feel  too overwhelmed. This strange funk wouldn’t go away.  I spent several hours, Thursday,watching mini~trampoline videos. I wanted to get back on track with my doctor’s plan. I decided  that I should use my rebounder, inversion table and sauna.  All 3 were on the list from my doctor. I was amazed at how many mini trampoline workouts are available.   

I have decided to try the workout: Mini trampoline workout with Paul Eugene, published March 4, 2014. Paul Eugene  It is my hope that by workout day #33, I will be able to keep up with Eugene, and that I will notice positive changes. I tell you what: it is a good workout !!!

 I found QiBounding:  QiBounding to be very informative !!!

ReboundAir and exercises,  TRULY HEAL is another choice for good workouts on the mini~trampoline.KT Tape PRO USA BlueJust one more thought: my ankles are very flexible. Rebounding while wearing tennis shoes, does not work. Plus, I have very high arches. I cannot walk around barefoot, anymore, because of the pain. I came across this KT Tape. It is wonderful !!! I wrap my arch~tight and do not wear shoes while rebounding. It works great for me !!! Of course. I use the blue tape.

As I was beginning my second day workout, Melissa called. We had a very good talk. We talked about my funk. It took a little while to figure out why July is such a bummer month,  for me.   Apparently, I am realizing that Shawn will not ever be any place I  visit. He will not be at: Chilis, the Hillyard Shatepark, or any of the places we used to go to. I had been going through a reality slam and did not realize it until Melissa pieced it together. I do not like this part of my grief journey !!!

Colossians 3:12-17 - this chapter is so wonderful to me!:


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