Audio is Available, Blotto, Endearingly Remembering Shawn, Memories To View, My Grief Challenges

Several Hallmark Movies January 14, 2017



I reread the post for Shawn’s  My apologies for being so glum. This was just a very tough Christmas season-the reality of Shawn’s goneness has been extremely piercing.

I watched several Hallmark movies, very few ended sadly. I do not know why I kept hoping I would find some hope,  for my situation, in their messages. None was to be found. I know my hope is in the Lord, it’s just that sometimes, when my heart is ripping,  I need some kind of salve. 


   I seem to miss the Christmas window display shows~or maybe those are not made anymore ??? I loved watching the creative detailing !!! It was my delight when I came across several Christmas light shows, on Discovery Family-dish #179. I was late in finding these shows. I recorded as many as possible.  I love all the ideas the folks have in mind. I found one I hadn’t deleted, “Extreme Christmas Lights Across Europe”. Mind you, all lights in the house, must be off~the effect is so much prettier. Hopefully, I will remember to check ahead of time and record ALL shows about Christmas light/decorating, next fall.







I left for Rockaway, January 1, at 1 0 AM.         I figured most folks would be sleeping after bringing in the new year.  As I made my way towards the zoo, the road seemed slick and the left side was not safe to drive in-for me. I made my way to the right, as soon as I did, a car zoomed past me on my left.

I took the road towards Tillamook, off to my left a car had gone off the road into a ditch. I was determined to drive extra careful. As I approached the Pacific Coast Range, the road seemed to be worsening. It wasn’t long until I saw a line of cars heading west, ahead of me. There must have been about 20 of us. We were averaging 20 mph. I was grateful for the snow plow rig, at the front of the line.  I looked to my left, the east bound road looked awful.   All along the road was evidence of work that had been done quite a lot earlier that morning.   I was glad I was not car #1, I was the last one.  Then, a big pick-up came behind me. My drive became stressy. The pick-up driver was very antsy.  When we were at the top of the range, the snow plow rig pulled over~bummer !!!  


  I had gotten to Rockaway too early to check in. surfside I decided to check the shore. It amazes me how different the beach looks at each visit. I was trying to figure where I would be doing my beach decorations. The water was almost to the stairs and was very robust. So, I decided to take Blotto and get a cute photo of a Christmas decoration in Garibaldi.


A crab cage Christmas tree, with lights, in Garibaldi


Blotto is on the Crab Cage Christmas tree.

 My main goal, while at the beach, was to get Shawn’s hospital photos off my phone.       cbaa0f59f5d08a1dd418b904d05a15b7


Every photo I viewed, I remembered clearly the moment it was taken. I was shocked as each image revealed the severity of Shawn’s situation. Up until then, a fact I could not give into. Shawn did not look like Shawn. I do not say this to be mean.  It was very difficult to look at each photo. When it came time to delete a Shawn photo, off my phone, my gut wrinkled. Each delete was another punch of reality regarding Shawn’s goneness~~~how I hate this grief journey !!!        Needless to say, it took me a long time to get through the photos. I thought I had gotten most photos, off my phone and  transferred to my laptop. When I checked my phone, several hours later,  all the photos I had deleted, were still on my phone. I decided to see if Bob could help me, when I got back home.


Frustrated with my problems transferring photos, somehow, I landed on some  I had totally forgotten:

Dad was showing Melissa all of his wonderful items. It was fun listening to them talking about everything !!!

I found a cow in Dad’s barn !!! This one needs no milking !!! Cute !!!




Tiger & Tuffy having a fun time exploring in this curious place.


On one of our no drive days, I looked up Facebook posts from Shawn’s Harborview days, I copied and moved them to a place they would be safe (?).


I think all the computer smart people (Microsoft, Apple, Google, etc.) who implement updates, do not get it: updates may be fine, but do not change my writings, calendars, phone lists, precious photos, etc. !!! If I want my stuff changed or deleted, I will do it !!! You techies need to learn how to not change my personal stuff when you are updating system workings !!!


   We have had some unexpected days off, because of bad weather. Just a side note. I have gotten tired of hearing how Oregonians are bad drivers in bad weather. Here’s the thing: we get freezing rain here, driving on ice is difficult !!!

So, all you drive-it-alls, lay off !!!

I have been grateful to not have to worry about my passengers being safe while waiting for the bus !!! 









Audio is Available, Blotto, Just Sharin'

Blotto, Her Beginnings September 24, 2016

 I decided to do something different. These pictures represent Blotto’s beginnings. I remember very clearly the day I drew her. I was sitting in a study hall class. I, even, remember where. On this rare day, I was not sick with my lung problems. The weather was not cold just a little overcast. I was all caught up in my studies. Blotto was my attempt at doodling. I am not ashamed to let folks know that I am not artsy. For one reason or another, I cannot draw a straight line with a ruler, thus, I have deemed myself not artistic. As far as I have been able to calculate, this was spring of 1973. Blotto about 1973

Last year, near this time, Bob had commented that my grief blog was too depressing. How strange: just a few months before that, I had been sorting through old papers~when I  found this drawing of Blotto. I started thinking how I could have a kind of blog mascot.

One of my brothers is very gifted in his drawing abilities and his abilities on the computer. He was going to make an image I could place here and there on my site, just for fun. He had spent hours placing the right color of blue hair strands, sculpting the shape, placing the eyes, nose and mouth.           The feet were great. So, his work was finished. I came up with another idea. I wanted Blotto to talk. It would have taken my brother, a lot more work. I didn’t want to overwhelm him, so I had him put Blotto on hold. I needed to think. I was at a fabric store and came upon this dark blue fur. Then it happened, the idea wheels were spinning in my head !!! I was going to make a Blotto. She would visit places and I would photo her at various landmarks or something neat.            I had to do some re-figuring. She would need arms and legs. I went to several used stuff stores and regular stores. I looked at A LOT of stuffed toys and dolls.

The original enlarged and the new.                  blottos-pattern.jpg.jpeg              

blottos-parts-ready.jpg.jpegParts ready to be attached.



20160608_063334.jpgTime for sewing.

20160608_063525.jpgAll this tugging reminded me of a time in my childhood, watching a calf being born. The mama was struggling. It took folks a lot of tugging before the calf landed on the straw.



                             Yep, Blotto’s debut. Flag Day, June 14, 2016.            

After coming home from Rockaway for Shawn’s 3rd year gone, I came upon a voice for Blotto and PorQ. So, if you ever receive a picture of one of them, look for the gray bar under the picture, and click the arrow for a cute listen.

My next post will show a few of the places Blotto has visited, this has been such fun !!!  



Audio is Available, Blotto, Just Sharin'

It’s Constitution Day !!! September 17, 2016



America sung by Hillsdale college:  

A reading of the Constitution: 


Hello Folks !!!

Blotto here.

Today is Constitution Day !!!

The Constitution for the United States of America was created, September 17, 1787. It saddens me that not many people know this, and that it is not mentioned in very many schools.  How sad !!!  I was thankful that Hillsdale College sent Kathy a message about their on-line course, regarding the Constitution.

Please, let’s get back to limited and smaller government !!!  

Blotto signing out !!!

Audio is Available, Blotto, Encouragement For Others

For You, Tracy September 1, 2016

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Remembering Garrett


This is a neat tee-shirt with an anchor and roses.

Many years ago, when I was going through a very difficult time, I came across this song. I found a lot of comfort in it:


Just a special note for Tracy’s family.



Blotto in her new chair, on Shawn’s ivy arch.


Tracy, notice Blotto’s bracelet, just for you !!! You are a survivor !!!


Hello Tracy, my name is Blotto. I am a new character Kathy made. You see, her husband, Bob, said her grief blog was too depressing. My job is to, hopefully, bring a tiny bit of joy into the lives of Kathy’s family and friends. I sing quite a few songs. Today, Kathy just wanted to make sure you know that she thinks and prays for you, a lot. Sometimes, she does not communicate~because she is in the dumps, but she is trying to find creative ways to let folks know she cares about them.

 Just a fun fact: Kathy drew my likeness in about 1973. I cannot wait for her to finish my story.

Anyway, I hope you can find some comfort in this message, knowing someone cares !!!