It doesn’t seem to matter how cold it is outside, I can find myself, sweating. It can be frustrating. I try to wear jackets that I can peel off quickly, before they get sopping wet, during those hot moments. I do not understand how one’s body can drip sweat and be freezing at the same time. I have come up with a perfect phrase that fits me: I’m freezing hot !!! I must admit, I am still trying to figure out all my issues. The 3 seem to intermix: grief, menopause and exhaustion from bad asthma lungs. Just kind-of frustrated.
One of my torments with being freezing hot reminds me of many times while Shawn was in Harborview. There were times his room was very chilly. There were other times when his room was nice and toasty, so much so that the staff would be sweaty.
Just plain missin’ Shawn !!!
I heard a lot of talk this past week about all the different things that would be perfect for a Valentine’s Day gift. Like: a big bear, flowers, sweets, cuddly pj’s. For me, the most precious thing is that Mom has sent Valentine cards to us kids, always. I wish I had been better about sending out cards to my kids. Anyways, all the commercials about what to buy, made me think. Ummm, let’s see, I am trying to set this up to make sense. You see, my husband knows I do not need flowers, to go out for dinner, cards, sweets-which I would gobble too quickly. I love the unexpected throughout the year. I have found this approach less stressful for him.
An example would be picking out a card. Bob can spend many moments trying to find the right card with the right words. It is painstaking to watch. He usually gets a white envelop.
~~~ Just a side note~~~
Many years ago I was in a Target store. I had found a card, in short order. As is usual for me, my search for the perfect colored envelop is where my time is eaten up. On this particular day, a reset was being done on the card section. A woman asked if I needed help. I told her I was trying to find an envelop that matched the card. Her face twisted in disgust. She told me that that card had a white envelop and that I was not to mix them up. She proceeded to give me a here to what for. I was rather embarrassed as other customers stopped to listen to the goings on. AND, a couple of years ago, I had gone into a little gift shop, not far from our house. Again, I had found an appropriate card, but I needed the perfect envelop. The store owner asked if she could help me. I told her I was trying to find a better envelop. She told me to take the one that was meant for the card. She informed me that folks like me mess up her inventory.
SO~~~Hallmark or whomever are the card and envelop makers, give me better envelop choices, PLEASE !!! I do not like being scolded for trying to find a better envelop choice.
Last weekend I attended a memorial service of a co-worker. The service was simple and sweet. I heard the most beautiful performance of “How Great Thou Art”, that I have ever heard. I left the service thinking about the memories shared. A thought kept popping into my head: how will others remember you ? What will you (me) remember others by ? I do not like to have my photo taken. Then I remembered all the precious photos of my co-worker. Smiles are much better than a grimace or a turned head. Have I treated others in a loving manner? Have I been willing to make friends or has my grief enveloped me, too much ???